Wednesday, July 20, 2011

My mind is full of blog

My husband ate a purple onion slice.... raw.  It was on his sandwich but it was still raw.  He also ate horseradish sauce on his roast beef Saturday night.  I wouldn't have noticed either incident except he made a comment about how good they both tasted.  And then I sat and stared in amazment and wondered if he had left part of himself in Afghanistan.  And then I mentioned to him that I had been eating baked beans...three times since he's been home.  For those of you who know our eating habits intimately you know that Eric is (or was) very, very picky and I am not.  But I don't eat baked beans and he doesn't eat onions or horseradish.  Could it be that we missed each other so much that we assumed each others' habits?  Maybe.  But I also know that deployment changes your life and so maybe what we eat just isn't that important anymore except that we're just thankful to be sharing a meal together.

On June 18, I was driving from the hardware store to the grocery, when my car rang. Her name is Genesis and she takes control of my phone when I start her. I didn't recognize the number on the display.  I answered.  It was Eric saying he was in Wisconsin.  I had heard Eric's voice less than 10 times during the year.  So to hear his voice and hear him say he was close to home was unbelievable.  He had to go and I sat in my car for a few minutes steeling myself up to make a quick dash through the grocery.  I went in hoping I wouldn't see anyone I knew (not really a hopeful thought since we live in a small town).  I made it to the fast lane just in time to run into someone who said, "How's the guys?"  And I lost it and started tearing up.  Poor guy thought something bad had happened but I choked out that Eric had just made it to the states. I guess I didn't really realize how tight I was holding myself all year long until that moment.  And then finally last Monday we received the same phone call from Brady.  I haven't heard Brady's voice at all since he went back after his leave four months ago.  I can't describe in words the difference in my feelings about my husband's deployment and my son's. They are completely different. In fact, I think I've stuffed feelings about Brady's deployment away because it was just too much for me as his mother.  But in just a few short days this round will be completely over.  Will they ever be deployed again?  We don't know.  I do know that even though I wouldn't want to handle it, I could.  And so could they. 

Well, I keep finding myself staring at Eric as he moves around the house.  I keep wondering if he is really actually here and he looks sooooo good I can't keep my eyes off of him.  And then he says, "What?"  To which I don't have an answer except, "You just look so good!"  We bought him a couple of tank tops to work out in and he is sporting one today.  He was feeling a little self-concious about my continual gaze so he asked if it was okay to wear to which I said, "you're so okay you could go strapless if you want!" Laughter is good for reintegration.

We have both said it is a good thing we like each other because readjusting has been stressful for us at times.  I have taken care of everything and had to answer to no one for 14 months.  He has lived in constant fear of his life and had to answer to everyone for 14 months.  He is adjusting to seeing women and looking them in the eye along with the freedom to do what he wishes and eat when he wants.  Some may say he is enjoying his cocktail hour, which occurs whenever he wants, a little too much but I say he is entitled.

So I am full of blog!  Eric, the boys, and I have been chillaxin', biking, and hanging in our pool almost daily.  We are enjoying every minute of Eric being home which is why I have neglected my blog and even facebook.  But even though this deployment is almost completely over I will continue writing.  I enjoy it and we are still a military family and there is never a dull moment it seems in our lives.  I hope you'll continue to read and I hope I have lots of inspiration from less stressful things to write about.

Eric and I celebrated our 25th anniversary by biking around Ames and visiting campus and Hickory Park. We started our lives togethether in Ames and had three children by the time we left.  We snapped this picture under the campanile.

We cannot express enough how thankful we are for everyone's prayers, support, and words of encouragement throughout this deployment.

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

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