My Five Sons

I've been thinking a lot lately about my sons.  I'm not sure why.  I've had a lot on my plate with my hubby being gone for a month...maybe that's why.  Laramy ended up in the hospital...just different with him being an adult....maybe that's why? Oh, there are reasons I know for all of them but can't say.

I can say I am thankful every day for God allowing me...me...to be the mother of these five fine young men.  And being that it is Mother's Day, I feel that it is okay to brag on them because they have made me the mom that I am today.

People groan when they hear I have five sons...wait...no girls?  Nope.  Just sons.  It used to bother me and then I started enjoying the shock value.  Yep! Five sons! 

I need to be very honest.  When Ayden was around four and Brady was fourteen, I thought I wasn't going to make it through the years of raising them.  I was overwhelmed with activity, dishes, laundry, life, cooking, homeschooling..did I say laundry? And just like everyone says...in the blink of an eye..it is today and they are 16 to 26 and I'm still standing.  And now I have two wonderful daughter-in-laws, too.

I just wanted to take a minute to say something to and about each one of them.

Brady,
You are a driven, worrying and yet somehow fearless, God-fearing and loving, talented, go-getter.  I loved every minute of seeing you on stage and hearing you sing. I love the stories you have given us to tell over the years..and I'm also sorry we love telling them so much.  But they are you and they are our life.  Thank you for my little water feature. Every time I look at it I think of you. You were my first born and you made me a mom.

Brenden,
You gave us quite a scare in the beginning.  You taught me about faith.  You made me learn God was in control.  I love your happy-go-lucky it's all good sense of style.  I am so thankful we bought you your life-changing guitar when you were eleven.  I could watch you play guitar forever and ever.

Logan,
Our middle child..it's tough being smack dab in the middle of the family. You are a night owl like me.  You have always been very quiet but you have a very big heart.  You are our go to guy for directions when we are driving in a car or playing a game. I love your sense of humor.  I will never forget the photo book you made me for Christmas. I think we have yet to see big things coming from you. Thanks for sticking around while Dad and Brady were in Afghanistan.

Laramy,
We have all dubbed you the perfect roommate.  I love coming home to you and dad sitting side by side on the loveseat watching TV.  I'm really sorry we left you in the Pamida parking lot while you were putting the cart away during a snowstorm.  While it wasn't one of our finer parenting moments, it was certainly one of our funniest. You are hard working, consistent, stubborn, and funny. 


Ayden,
Our baby.... I can say that because I'm the baby of the family, too.  You will always be the baby of the family.  You are smart, sweet, kind, and so deeply spiritual.  Thanks for wanting to be homeschooled.  I will cherish those years with you. Thanks for making all your hats and slippers...life would not be the same without Ayden hats.  You taught me a lot. It is hard to believe you will be a junior next year.

It happened again this week..someone approached me and told me how nice, polite, and respectful all of my sons are to people.  As a mom, I don't think I could receive a bigger compliment.  Thank you for putting up with me.  Thank you for helping me.  Thank you for making me feel short.  ;)Thank you for scooping walks, doing dishes, cutting down trees, playing, visitng, making me celebrate my birthday....everything..thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my five sons.

I will just continue to try to do my best for you as your mom. Looking forward to some porch couch time this summer.
I love you all
Love,
Mom

Blessings,
Monica

This was a great fishing memory

 



Just an awesome moment

 



Dear Month of May

Dear Month of May 2013,
     You aren't starting off on a very good foot.  In fact, the foot you've started off on is broken.
     First, I think you're confused.  Your name is May not March.  I'm sure you are in contact with your counterpart; the weather. If not, please do so and correct this craziness.  I realize I am talking to Iowa May but, Iowa May doesn't snow.  Rain, yes.  Snow, no..... never in my lifetime.  It is a simple rule you should never, ever break again.  Have you been drinking too much?
      Second, you have known my military husband would be gone during your whole month.  That leaves me to be a temporary single parent. 
     This brings me to my third point. We are only on day three and I've had enough.  My departing husband, the blown tire, the four tire purchase, the 40 mile trip on the donut spare down back roads, the "first day of spring", the snowstorm, and the harrowing admittance of Laramy in the hospital has been enough already! And we are only on day three!....wait, let me repeat....DAY 3. 
     It is very clear to me your brain train has jumped the track.  Please go back and study your name.  You are May.  April brought you showers.  Please bring us flowers.

With all the love I can muster,
 Monica

PS...I will be contacting you in my elderly years to confirm my son was in the hospital during your month and not March because I'm sure me and my bff will be arguing and reminiscing over the story during our afternoon snack in the nursing home.... 'cause it never snows in May so we will think it was March.  Please make a note for reference.

Military Spouse Magazine Baseguide.com article

It's a great day for me as a writer....  Thank you to everyone for your encouragement!

http://www.baseguide.com/Articles/Article.aspx?title=top-5-tips-for-surviving-a-deployment-away-from-a-base

God Bless,
Monica

If we could turn the page early

On Wednesday, I was shocked to hear of the sudden death of one of our prominent citizens of our town.  This is the second shocking passing in the last six months.  Immediately, their entire families' lives changed.  I cannot imagine the grief and pain brought on by the sudden news they all experienced and are experiencing.

So often in our lives we live day to day always assuming we have tomorrow, too.  And so often we put off doing something until tomorrow...that old cliche comes to mind... "Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today". And, yet, we all live like we have unlimited time.  And I suppose, in some instances, people live without the hope of tomorrow.  Somehow, we have to learn to live in between those pages.

This morning I was reminded of a lesson Ayden and I did in homeschooling a few years ago.  I remember reading the lesson in disbelief. Ayden and I spent quite a bit of time discussing the lesson and I left it feeling saddened about my lack of faith in the validity of it. I continued on with my day often pausing to think and ponder.  And I decided I would just accept it in faith and move on. Well, the next day came and we turned the page... and there right in front of my eyes was the rest of the story and the validation of the lesson.  If we had only thought to turn the page the day before, we would have had our answer. 

Unfortunately, in life, we don't get to turn the page to the next day early.  And that leaves us with choices in how to live each day.  People always say to live each day to it's fullest.  But do we? We always assume we have tomorrow.  And, yet, whether we live to 49 or 109, we should honestly and truly just live each day to the best of our ability.  I always wonder when we lose someone suddenly... Were they happy with how they behaved leading up to that moment? We will never know.  But as I grow older I think more and more often about how I live each day..and most importantly...how I treat people in my life.

If we could turn the page and see ahead in time..... this is the age-old dilemna.  What would change if we could take a peek ahead and then live out each day? or would we eventually abuse our peek ahead? Or if I don't get to turn the page to tomorrow, what will people know about me when I am gone?

I will choose to live each day as God instructs us in Ephesians, through Paul, to the best of my ability.

Ephesians 4: 1-6

4 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, ² with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, ³ being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. ⁴ There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; ⁵ one Lord, one faith, one baptism, ⁶ one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.

 

I know it's unhealthy to live and dwell in past mistakes but, we can turn the page back and always make better choices.

 

Live each day in faith and walk worthy and work out your faith

God Bless,

love,

Monica

The smells and feels of Iowa

Last night a friend commented he saw me riding my bike and asked what I was doing.  And I said,  "Riding my bike".  And then I thought to myself...and thanks for the opening line to my next blog.  I love being on my bike for many reasons. But, mostly, I love what my bike teaches me about Iowa...where I was born and raised.

I specifically remember a fall in my late teens when I was riding with my dad to my sister's house.  She lived on a farm at that time.  The car was quiet.  I was looking out the window and just mentioned to my dad that we needed rain..the corn was drying up.  Okay..let me just state again that it was the fall of the year... my dad replied in surprise, "Monica, it's supposed to be drying up for harvest".

I have always considered myself a city girl even though I was raised in Iowa around farms, farming, and farm animals.  We gardened.  My grandparents gardened.  Obviously, I was not paying attention until that moment.  And through the years I figured it all out and gardened and canned our home grown delights just like my grandmother did. 

And then I started riding my bike.  I realized very quickly that the feel of a hill, uphill or downhill, on a bike is completely different than being in a car.  I have been told many times on RAGBRAI from locals..oh, no there aren't many hills from here to the next town.  But a slow climbing hill doesn't look like a hill in a car but makes a huge difference on a bike. 

I feel very blessed to have seen Iowa from my bike's perspective.  I have ridden through many small towns, large cities, and even seen places I didn't know existed.  Pedaling through Amish country in eastern Iowa is a scene I will never forget.  It was so serene, simple, and beautiful.  And the value of hard work spoke to me from their houses, gardens, and fields. 

I also feel not so blessed to really know what road kill smells like.... we see road kill in our cars all the time..gross stuff.  But the smell of road kill is like nothing else.  And on a bike you just can't get away from it fast enough and there are no windows to roll up. 

I don't like the smell of farm animals. Farm animals each carry a distinct smell... my niece used to say when she was little that cows smelled brown and pigs smelled green. I agree. I always talk to the cows.  They watch me very intently as I pedal by... I usually just say hi but I've been known to moo at them.  That alone should make you want to go riding with me. And the birds I see on my bike...well, killdeer, hawks, woodpeckers, and goldfinch... stunning.  Funny enough there are also birds that dive bomb bikers and I talk to them, too.  Silly birds.

This summer the most astonishing smell was the corn.  I always smell corn on my bike.  But this year it was of corn baking in the drought.  I have never seen corn as dry or smell corn as dry as I did this summer.  I couldn't smell the beans..the corn smell was shocking.  It was working so hard to survive the heat and no rain.

I think that is a lesson for all of us.  So many times in our lives we find ourselves stressed, too busy, sad, confused, and just trying to survive.  I talk to God on my bike all the time.  So my answer to my friend really should have been, "Learning lessons from God". Because that's what happens through the smells and feels of Iowa.

So...I'm not really a city girl...but I am most certainly an Iowa girl.

Chicory..my favorite...it can flank a country lane with the most beautiful periwinkle blue..but in the heat of the day it closes and the blue goes away

 

Queen Anne's Lace.... being a seamstress myself this is another favorite and grows deeper in the ditches behind the chicory.  Story goes that Queen Anne was sewing her lace and pricked her finger with the needle.  Can you see the red petal in the center?

 

Typical view from my bike

 

Chicory grows in the tiniest cracks right next to the road even in drought conditions.... Reminds me to bloom wherever God plants me.

 

God Bless,

Love,

Monica

 



 



Mom taught us to Read, Write, and Ride

I have always enjoyed riding a bike.  My dad bought me my first 10-speed (wow that's sounds archaic) when I was in junior high.  And for many years when my kids were little I would tool around on my mom's old 3-speed.  And then one day some friends of ours(Pearsons) came riding by all decked out in their biking gear....and that's when I knew I wanted to ride a really nice bike.  I purchased my hybrid in 2005.  I learned quickly that I really didn't know how to ride a bike.... well, long distance...and that I was really, really out of shape. 

At the time, we were living out behind the campground at Pammel Park which is up on a hill.  And if I left the park I had to pedal up quite a few hills to get anywhere and then pedal uphill to get home.  Well, my first trip out I made it half way up the first hill, turned around, and walked up the second hill to get home.  Not a successful adventure.  But from there on out I was able to gage my progress by how much farther I could successfully get from home and back.

I continued on....and started to learn a lot about equipment.  I bought the black shorts that made my legs look like black sausages and had my bike professionally fit to me.  I added the special shoes, gloves, pedals, mirrors, computer...and I kept on pedaling.  I will never forget turning over my first 1,000 miles on that bike.  My bike changed me..physically and mentally.

In January of 2007..without telling anyone... I signed up for RAGBRAI.  I had no idea how I was going to do it.  I just knew that if I could ride my bike across the state of Iowa in one week...I could do anything.  I think Eric wondered what I was thinking..but he was in support.  He drove me, my army duffle, and my bike to Rock Rapids that July..did SAG for me for the first day... and then left me.  And from there on out it was me, my bike, my tent, and 10,000 other RAGBRAI riders.  I figured out each day and pedaled and pedaled occasionally giving Eric updates.  I can't tell you what it felt like to tick off each mile..and then each day.  I was more hot and more sweaty and more dirty than I had ever been in my life.  And on Saturday...as I neared the last few miles I found myself incredibly emotional as I came over the top of the largest downhill I had ever ridden.  My heart was pounding and as I descended into the Mississippi river valley, at a speed of about 32 mph, I felt a rush like no other.  There was a young kid to the left of me heading down the hill and we both whooped when we reached the bottom.  I asked him how old he was and he said 14.  He asked me if this was my first RAGBRAI.  I said yes.  He said it was his third.  And as we came into Bellevue he said, "Congratulations on finishing your first RAGBRAI".  He knew what I was feeling...there is a rush like no other.  Eric, Logan, Laramy, and Ayden were waiting for me at the end with a huge sign signed by all of them and all of my friends.  Pretty cool...a moment I will not forget.  That RAGBRAI was a journey of 589.1 miles in all.

We are one week away from leaving for RAGBRAI XL.  This is RAGBRAI's 40th anniversary.  This will be my sixth year...and Ayden's fifth.  Ayden bought his first bike when he was nine and has been riding with me ever since.  He has been a great riding partner.  He completed his first RAGBRAI at the age of 11.  Last year we both bought lighter, faster road bikes.  And I fixed up my hybrid for Eric to ride when he returned from Afghanistan.  My hybrid has well over 6,000 miles on it now. They told me when I bought it that it would last me for the rest of my riding years.... little did they know!

 Brady, Eric, and Laramy all purchased bikes this year.  And this RAGBRAI....all five of us are riding! Brenden is our SAG driver.  I can't tell you how excited I am.  We have all been training and Team Pugh University is ready to ride!

There is always room for one more on Team PUgh University..we hope we keep growing and we hope we keep inspiring people to choose something to accomplish.

RAGBRAI 2010..we wore yellow ribbons for our soldiers

Never pass up an opportunity to pose with pirates on RAGBRAI.... ever ;)

Always meet up with old friends..amazing how you do find people you know

And always strike a pose when you reach the Mississippi River!

This will be an amazing year with an overnight in Lake View..Eric's hometown..and ending in Clinton..my hometown!

Never say never! Find something you love!

God Bless,

Monica





Bentley Bear

I clicked on to Facebook this morning, went to my son, Brenden's, wall, and wished him a happy birthday.  And just a few seconds later, Brenden posted this photo.

For most, this photo means absolutely nothing.  It's just a piggy bank and a bear. The piggy bank is new and the bear is old. To me, this photo is everything.  Immediately tears streamed down my cheeks and I was taken back to the day I first saw the teddy bear. 

Brenden's wife, Sarah, bought him his new piggy bank for his birthday.  Today Bren is 23.  He still loves his trinkets and toys.  Bren says he named his new bank, Roofus.  The bear's name is Bentley.  I'm not sure if Brenden remembers that because I think the bear had a few different names through the years but mostly he was just called Bear.  Bear came into Brenden's life because of the Bentley heart and lung machine.  I don't think I saw Bear the first time I saw Brenden after his life-saving surgery.  The tubes and wires that kept my four day old baby alive consumed my vision at that time.  But I'm sure Bear was there.  All babies who were placed on the heart and lung machine received a Bentley Bear. 

Brenden was born in the afternoon of  June 28th, in Ames, after quite a long labor.  He was beautiful.  Everything was perfectly normal for about 24 hours when they discovered Brenden's heart rate had increased and he was placed in intensive care.  Up until that point, he seemed to be a very sleepy baby who didn't want to nurse.  I had a small gut instinct that something was wrong and it was confirmed when they started doing some testing.  We left Brenden in the care of our pediatrician and nurses.

 The next morning, we arrived back at the hospital to confirmation from our pediatrician that it was Brenden's heart and he needed to be ambulanced to either Blank Children's Hospital or University of Iowa Hospital....which would we prefer? Well, Eric was 23 and I was 24..we were college students and had not experienced much of life...how do you make that decision?  Our pediatrician said he would choose Iowa City but if we did that we would have to wait for an ambulance to arrive from there because there was no nurse available to travel from Ames to Iowa City.  There are no words to describe the turmoil we were in as the clock ticked away.  Time was crucial.  And all of a sudden a nurse came forward who said she was able to go and within just a few minutes Brenden was in the ambulance and on his way. 

Eric and I rushed home to our apartment.  My mom was there with Brady, who was 2, and we quickly threw things into a suitcase for us and left for Iowa City.  It was decided Eric's mom would come through Ames and pick up my mom and Brady and meet us there. 

Our car was silent for the two hour ride.  We had no idea where we were going or exactly where they had taken our newborn baby.  My prayers had turned to begging and pleading with God to please make my baby okay.  I don't have any memories of how we found the waiting room but we were greeted in the waiting room by my brother and sister-in-law.  They had left work immediately and beat us there and I remember falling into my brother's arms.  I have never forgotten their support and comfort at that time and I'm so glad we were not alone. 

As the day passed, other family members arrived.  I'm not sure if I remember much of that time..but my dad, Eric's mom, my mom and Brady, and my sister, Lora for sure were there. Lora took Brady with her and we all waited agonizingly for news. 

Testing was extensive and sometime around 2am...we were exhausted...we found out that Brenden had an interrupted aortic arch, multiple ASD's and VSD's, and a misplaced right subclavian artery. In layman's terms, he was missing the top part of his aorta and he had multiple holes between the upper and lower chambers of his heart.  The artery that fed his right arm was not an issue but had simply "miraculously" grown in a different place to feed his right arm.  He needed immediate surgery.  He had stablized so they were letting him rest.  They were hoping to contact the one surgeon, Dr. Behrendt, they felt could do the surgery but he was leaving for vacation so they didn't know if he was available.  They told us to get some rest and to be back at the hospital at 6am.

We found a hotel and tried to crash for a few short hours.... I don't think any of us slept.  And we arrived back at the hospital to find out Dr. Behrendt had postponed his vacation. We were just in time to see Brenden one last time before they wheeled him away.  They left us sitting in a waiting room with no guarantees of ever seeing Brenden alive again.

We attempted to eat some breakfast in the cafeteria.  No one was hungry.  But my mom choked down her oatmeal saying that even though it was the worst oatmeal she had ever had she would do it for Brenden.  That moment eventually became one of our funny memories.

We waited and waited...and waited.  The waiting room was divided in sections so families would have their "own space".  Iowa City receives some of the worst intensive care situations..children and adults..so sobbing was often heard.  There were times we would hear of stories worse than our own.  Funny how  we could sit and think that we were thankful for what we were dealing with and not a worse situation...even though ours was equally just as horrifying.

And finally, late in the afternoon, Dr. Behrendt emerged to tell us the surgery was successful but we were not out of the woods yet.  Brenden's heart was the size of a large strawberry (all newborns are). He decided to give him the best chance possible by doing all of the repairs they could which was not typically done. They rebuilt his aorta with a piece of human donor aorta and they closed as many holes as they could.  The next few hours would be crucial and he listed off all of the problems that could arise...kidney failure, liver failure, and on and on. 

We had one moment where Bren's blood pressure dropped and things became very critical.  Eventually, they called for Eric and I to go see him.  We walked tentatively..holding hands...excited and so scared.  Brenden was being monitored by a team of people.  We stepped into his room and stood back from his bed.  He was attached to so many tubes and wires that he no longer looked like my baby but some sort of experiment.  His arms and legs were stretched out and a huge bandage covered his chest.  I looked and then I couldn't look..it was too much for both Eric and I.  We had never seen anything like it ever before.  We left and grandparents were allowed to visit.  My mom asked me if she could snap some pictures.  I hesitated.  I didn't want to remember my baby like that...but if he didn't make it it would be all that we would have.  So I said yes.  I treasure those photographs today because they show us how to stand in the face of adversity and trust in our faith in God.

The next time we visited, I noticed Bear.  I asked who had given Brenden the bear.  The nurse casually said, "Oh all kids and babies who go on the Bentley heart and lung machine receive the bear..it's from the Bentley company". 

Brenden endured two more open heart surgeries at the age of 4 months and 7 years.  He was diagnosed with very mild cerebral palsy in his left foot and ankle and went through three serial castings, botox shots, and finally surgery after his foot broke for the second time... he has endured much without thought most of the time.  We always tried to explain to him what was going on and we were always honest.  He became our trinket boy...loved going to the gift shop and collecting just stuff which he most often kept in a wash bin from one of his hospital stays. 

Bren married Sarah when he was 19...she knows he loves his trinkets... I think she says he has to keep them on his side of the bed. ;) And he puts special ones out at Christmas. 

A few years ago, the surgeon, Dr. Behrendt, who saved Bren's life, retired. We were told by another doctor during Bren's first surgery that Dr. Behrendt was one of three surgeons in the United States at the time who was able to do what he did for Brenden that day.  I think it is not a coincidence but a Godcidence that we chose Iowa City.  And at Bren's 21 year check up, Dr. Morriss, Bren's pediatric cardiologist, told us she would be retiring.  She was ever faithful to our family and meant so much to us over the years with Brenden's care. Brenden goes back every three years..or whenever they say..for check ups. 

Bren is an amazing musician... he is so fun to watch play the bass or guitar..or ukele..or whatever.  God had a plan from the beginning because he regrew Bren's artery to his right arm...so he could play so well.  We were told if it hadn't done that he might not have had a right arm... God knows our paths.

And always by Brenden's side is his faithful Bear......

Happy 23rd Birthday, Brenden Michael Mahlon Pugh! We love you!

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Ecclesiastes 11:5  Just as you know not how the breath of life fashions the human frame in the mother's womb,  So you know not the work of God which he is accomplishing in the universe.

Bren.. Easter 2012