I can hear you now

I shed a few tears... again...over my new BAHA 3.  I realized last week that many of my readers and facebook friends have been confused about my BAHA...and the fact that I even had an implant...and maybe, for a few, that I am hearing impaired.  So I thought for the sake of my kids and those who care to know..I would write about my journey.

When I was 10 years old, in the fall of my 5th grade year, I became very ill with some sort of virus.  I had also been battling an abscessed tooth.  Sometime during that fall, my parents were alerted by a friend that I had been hanging up the phone when they called the house.  I remembering saying no one was there.  My dad had access to a hearing test machine and so he did a little test in the basement of our house..and he pronounced... she's not hearing anything in her right ear.  So off to my regular doctor I went..who referred me to an ENT..who said I was profoundly deaf in my right ear.  And from there they took me to Mayo Clinic in the spring and they also pronounced me profoundly deaf in my right ear because all of the nerves were dead and there was nothing to be done.  We never really found the cause but we assume it had something to do with the virus, the tooth, or a combination of both. I remember being very sad but also not really knowing how it would change my life.

Well, life changed dramatically for me.  I never really talked about my hearing loss and I don't think I ever really told anyone about it in high school.  Although, I know my close friends knew.  But as life progressed, I started to realize how much I missed...particularly because I had close friends and my husband by my side telling me.  I remember shortly after Eric and I were married that the Cochlear implant became news and I said to him, "If anything ever comes about to help me with my hearing, I will do it".

Well, I can tell you that being deaf in one ear is at times worse that being just plain deaf... well, maybe not..except everyone expects me to hear because I appear to be a hearing person.  I have spent most of my life with no directional hearing, never hearing in stereo, being afraid for my safety crossing the street (actually was hit by a bike once), being the last to get the joke, being called stuck up and, eventually becoming pretty social phobic because hearing socially was emotionally draining.  I am very fortunate to have a fantastic husband who has always been my "hearing aid".  And I have great friends who always made sure I didn't miss anything or I sat in the right place.  And I learned to read lips very well.  But my husband and all of my friends will say they preferred to be on my left side and avoid my black hole as I like to call it...because if you're on my deaf side you might as well not be there. 

Well in 2007, when Brenden went to the ENT to have his vocal cords assessed, the nurse asked him if anyone had trouble hearing him he said, "Yes, my mom, but she doesn't count because she's deaf in one ear". And that's when the nurse asked if I had heard of Cochlear's BAHA which I hadn't..she got me a brochure and I don't know I heard much more of Brenden's appointment.  I came home with a leap in my step and an excitement deep in my soul.

I made the appointment to see if I was a good candidate. After finding out I was, we proceeded to gain approval from my insurance company which for many people proved difficult.  But in a very short time I was approved and my surgery to place the titanium post in my skull was scheduled.  On March 28, 2008 my life was changed.  The hardest part of surgery was not being able to wash my hair...much at all...for over a month.  Eric was really good about helping me.  And in June, after the post was fully oseointegrated, I received my first processor called the Cochlear Divino. 

Annie (my good friend) and Eric went along.  My first experience with "hearing" was quite overwhelming...I remember stepping out of the office and hearing the birds, the cars, the people, the wind all at one time.  And for quite awhile after that, when I would hear something new, I would stop in amazement and sometimes shed some tears.  The first time I heard the piano in church, I sobbed uncontrollably, and had to actually get up and leave.  It was as if I had been hearing in black and white for 33 years and someone turned the color on...my flat world became very full. 

My sound processor attaches to my abutment and it picks up sound and passes it to my good cochlea in my left ear through vibrations through my skull.  So essentially, I "hear" everything still on my left side.  But I pick up sound on my right side and my brain has learned to distinguish the difference but I'm still pretty directionally hearing challenged.  And if I don't have my processor on..I am my own deaf self...which sometimes I just prefer to be.

My Divino was just that..I popped it on, turned it on, and went.  My new BAHA 3 is digital and has three settings..normal, for background noise, and for my iPod...yes, I can plug directly into my processor and hear music in my head... very cool. 



I can't believe it has been four years since my initial surgery. Biomedical engineering is absolutely amazing!
The pictures to follow are from 2008 to present.

First post-op picture in 2008...scarves of all sorts were my fashion accessory of choice

After my first post-op visit and dressing change...this is called the healing cap and I still have it

A few weeks after the initial surgery in 2008...the site is essentially a skin graft

My first processor..the Cochlear Divino..very simple with a volume control only

What my abutment looks like today

Audiologist hooking me up with my BAHA 3 to the computer

My hearing test through my BAHA...and adjusting it to my specific needs

Me..hooking it up and turning it on by myself for the first time..looks very similar but it is completely different.  The sound quality through this digital version is amazing compared to my old Divino.

I have a post that my processor attaches to so I can share the experience with anyone who wants to hear what I hear..it's pretty fascinating and I love seeing the look on people's faces.

I will say...that after four years..many people around me can tell when I don't have my processor on and I do still miss things...but considering it all... I don't think you'll be able to sneak up on me on my deaf side....I can hear you now. ;)

I am blessed!

God Bless,

love,

Monica

It's never too sappy... share the love!

Last year on Valentine's Day, Eric and I were spending his last day of leave together.  It was a bittersweet day because we both knew we had to say goodbye again the next morning.  He bought me my 25th anniversary diamond and we enjoyed breakfast and lunch together.  Sending him back to Afghanistan the next morning was the most difficult thing I have ever done...worse than saying goodbye the first time he shipped.

This morning I was thinking about last year and was reminded of eleven years ago..... Valentine's Day morning... My sweet husband woke up early with a plan in hand.  Actually, he had a back pack sprayer on his back.  We had snow covering the ground.  He knew the first thing I always did was wake up and raise the shade in the bedroom.  And I did.  And much to my surprise, I found my Valentine in the snow.  It was the sweetest Valentine ever and I will always remember the surprise and love I felt when I discovered it.

That same day we had bad weather...or maybe it was the day before...I'm not really sure.  But Brady kept insisting he wanted to walk uptown.  And I kept telling him no.  It came to the point of me scolding him because he would not quit.  He had a plan and he was not going to give up.  But it was very cold and finally I said I would take him..to which he said I couldn't because he had a surprise.  And, finally, it came out that he was going to buy roses for me with his own money.  It was the sweetest moment for me as a mom and a very humbling one.  If I remember correctly, I did drive him to the floral shop in the icey, cold snow and I kept my eyes closed as best I could as he climbed into the back of our big, purple van.  And then he presented me with the roses in the picture above. 

Single person awareness day... oh bah.... it is spread the love day... Share the love with all those around you.  It is just a happy day. 

Happy Valentine's Day!
Love and God Bless,
Monica

"Cheese Crust Pizza"

http://www.eat-drink-smile.com/2011/04/cauliflower-crust-pizza.html

Enjoy.... it is really simple and so easy to pat into a circle.  I let it sit for a few minutes and it served up nicely.  But it is fork pizza....not finger pizza.  After I had eaten dinner, I ran an errand.  The lady helping me commented that whatever I made for dinner smelled delicious on me.  ;) If you are not a garlic fan you might wish to cut back on either of those ingredients.  I also didn't need to cook the cauliflower in the microwave for as long as it stated...and I grated mine with a cheese grater pretty quickly (well, I was trying to hurry to hide that ingredient).

Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free Flour is really my favorite blend so far...and it made a great pie crust at Thanksgiving. It is available online but I've had great success finding it in my local grocery stores, too.

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/peanut-butter-cookies/b1bc87be-3fa5-4957-974b-e15d40aca4aa#?st=6&term=gluten free cookies&ps=9&pi=9&fv=AND(HasGridViewImage%3ATrue)





Gluten Free Bisquick is another favorite...pancakes taste exactly the same.

And, finally, my favorite bread is Udi's.  I have tried a few brands and this one has the best taste and seems the most "normal".  I made our traditional breakfast casserole with it this year and everyone liked it better than the original.  So that speaks volumes about this bread because most gluten free bread tastes like dust..or grainy.  Be prepared though... it is pricey. 

Even if you don't need to eat gluten free...the pizza is worth a try... great way to get some extra veggies in..and garlic is awesome for you, too!

God Bless,

Love,

Monica

Don't blow my cover....

I haven't felt particularly inspired to write for quite awhile. I usually find inspiration when I'm on my bike...and considering this very warm winter we are having... I should be on my bike.  But I've been thinking a lot about my blog lately and how much it meant to me during the deployment.  And now that the deployment is behind us I've contemplated creating something new...except I love my Pugh sitters here.  And so, while we are still a military family, you will start finding me write more about our daily lives...all kinds of things, actually. 

Many of you may not know that our daughter-in-law, Sarah, has celiac disease and is allergic to wheat and I am also gluten intolerant....well, they diagnosed me with celiac, too. But I'm still slightly in denial. For the past three years I have been on a hunt for recipes and spent many hours searching for ways to eat our favorite things gluten free.  Quite frankly, eating gluten free and reading every label for wheat allergens (including shampoos and the like), really sucks the life out of the cake and gravy! But never fear...we have recently had much success.  And I see delish cakes and cookies in our future!  While it is difficult, I can tell you that living gluten free has really changed my health and saved Sarah's life.  So it is all worth it for sure. 

While Eric was deployed, I learned I needed to be even more cautious with label reading.  I had been avoiding breads and all of the obvious gluten items.  But, I hadn't been reading all of the fine print for myself.  Turkey and sour cream are two examples that a person might think they don't have to worry about.  But modified food starch, unless it is labeled corn, is made from wheat.  And it is used often as a thickener or flavor enhancer.  Who knew? 

Also, having celiac disease and being allergic to wheat are two different things.  I am not allergic to wheat.  What I have is like being diabetic..if I eat wheat, rye, or barley, I do invisible damage to my intestines and may or may not give me a very bad stomachache.  Diabetics can get away with eating some sugar....but eventually the damage they may do becomes irreversible.  The same is true with celiac disease.  Or I can eat properly and my body will heal.  Did you know diabetes and celiac disease are both autoimmune diseases?  Sarah's wheat allergy requires her to carry an epi pen. 

Well, thanks to my mom, Brenden thought he was cheating the gluten issue when he enjoyed some delicious cookies she had made over Christmas.  Bren was at our house without Sarah...and then I informed him they were gluten free...he said, "Aw, man, I thought I was getting away with something and eating the real deal"!  A crumb on Bren's lips could pose quite a problem for Sarah if he kisses her.  So he stays clear of gluten and wheat, too. 

Last week, I found a wonderful recipe for "cheese" crust pizza.  I believe this is going to be the next classic "cheesy noodles" recipe in our family.  When the boys were little, the only way they would eat tuna casserole was to tell them it was cheesy noodles.  And in the beginning, I used to blender the sauce so they couldn't see the tuna chunks.  But they grew up loving it as one of their favorite dishes.  And then Brady went to college and called home for the recipe..and my cover was blown.  Well, my cheese crust pizza is going to stay a secret for awhile until they fall in love with it..and then I'll reveal the recipe on here.  I loved it and Lare and Ayden licked it all right up without asking. They didn't even seem to notice the huge grin I sported. 

btw...I seem to do fine with beer made from barley..but I stay away from wheat beers...and there are some good gluten free beers on the market, too.  If you are really sensitive to gluten, all beer must be avoided which I did for a very long, long time.  And then I tested it to see if I had any symptoms which I did not.  And I would if it bothered me, because the longer I am away from gluten the faster I get sick if I get into something accidentally. But everything in moderation is still a good rule to follow...even if it is gluten free cake!

God Bless and happy February!
love,
Monica
James 1:12