When I was 10 years old, in the fall of my 5th grade year, I became very ill with some sort of virus. I had also been battling an abscessed tooth. Sometime during that fall, my parents were alerted by a friend that I had been hanging up the phone when they called the house. I remembering saying no one was there. My dad had access to a hearing test machine and so he did a little test in the basement of our house..and he pronounced... she's not hearing anything in her right ear. So off to my regular doctor I went..who referred me to an ENT..who said I was profoundly deaf in my right ear. And from there they took me to Mayo Clinic in the spring and they also pronounced me profoundly deaf in my right ear because all of the nerves were dead and there was nothing to be done. We never really found the cause but we assume it had something to do with the virus, the tooth, or a combination of both. I remember being very sad but also not really knowing how it would change my life.
Well, life changed dramatically for me. I never really talked about my hearing loss and I don't think I ever really told anyone about it in high school. Although, I know my close friends knew. But as life progressed, I started to realize how much I missed...particularly because I had close friends and my husband by my side telling me. I remember shortly after Eric and I were married that the Cochlear implant became news and I said to him, "If anything ever comes about to help me with my hearing, I will do it".
Well, I can tell you that being deaf in one ear is at times worse that being just plain deaf... well, maybe not..except everyone expects me to hear because I appear to be a hearing person. I have spent most of my life with no directional hearing, never hearing in stereo, being afraid for my safety crossing the street (actually was hit by a bike once), being the last to get the joke, being called stuck up and, eventually becoming pretty social phobic because hearing socially was emotionally draining. I am very fortunate to have a fantastic husband who has always been my "hearing aid". And I have great friends who always made sure I didn't miss anything or I sat in the right place. And I learned to read lips very well. But my husband and all of my friends will say they preferred to be on my left side and avoid my black hole as I like to call it...because if you're on my deaf side you might as well not be there.
Well in 2007, when Brenden went to the ENT to have his vocal cords assessed, the nurse asked him if anyone had trouble hearing him he said, "Yes, my mom, but she doesn't count because she's deaf in one ear". And that's when the nurse asked if I had heard of Cochlear's BAHA which I hadn't..she got me a brochure and I don't know I heard much more of Brenden's appointment. I came home with a leap in my step and an excitement deep in my soul.
I made the appointment to see if I was a good candidate. After finding out I was, we proceeded to gain approval from my insurance company which for many people proved difficult. But in a very short time I was approved and my surgery to place the titanium post in my skull was scheduled. On March 28, 2008 my life was changed. The hardest part of surgery was not being able to wash my hair...much at all...for over a month. Eric was really good about helping me. And in June, after the post was fully oseointegrated, I received my first processor called the Cochlear Divino.
Annie (my good friend) and Eric went along. My first experience with "hearing" was quite overwhelming...I remember stepping out of the office and hearing the birds, the cars, the people, the wind all at one time. And for quite awhile after that, when I would hear something new, I would stop in amazement and sometimes shed some tears. The first time I heard the piano in church, I sobbed uncontrollably, and had to actually get up and leave. It was as if I had been hearing in black and white for 33 years and someone turned the color on...my flat world became very full.
My sound processor attaches to my abutment and it picks up sound and passes it to my good cochlea in my left ear through vibrations through my skull. So essentially, I "hear" everything still on my left side. But I pick up sound on my right side and my brain has learned to distinguish the difference but I'm still pretty directionally hearing challenged. And if I don't have my processor on..I am my own deaf self...which sometimes I just prefer to be.
My Divino was just that..I popped it on, turned it on, and went. My new BAHA 3 is digital and has three settings..normal, for background noise, and for my iPod...yes, I can plug directly into my processor and hear music in my head... very cool.
I can't believe it has been four years since my initial surgery. Biomedical engineering is absolutely amazing!
The pictures to follow are from 2008 to present.
First post-op picture in 2008...scarves of all sorts were my fashion accessory of choice
After my first post-op visit and dressing change...this is called the healing cap and I still have it
A few weeks after the initial surgery in 2008...the site is essentially a skin graft
My first processor..the Cochlear Divino..very simple with a volume control only
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What my abutment looks like today
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Audiologist hooking me up with my BAHA 3 to the computer
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My hearing test through my BAHA...and adjusting it to my specific needs
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Me..hooking it up and turning it on by myself for the first time..looks very similar but it is completely different. The sound quality through this digital version is amazing compared to my old Divino.
I have a post that my processor attaches to so I can share the experience with anyone who wants to hear what I hear..it's pretty fascinating and I love seeing the look on people's faces.
I will say...that after four years..many people around me can tell when I don't have my processor on and I do still miss things...but considering it all... I don't think you'll be able to sneak up on me on my deaf side....I can hear you now. ;)
I am blessed!
God Bless,
love,
Monica
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