Dear Month of May

Dear Month of May 2013,
     You aren't starting off on a very good foot.  In fact, the foot you've started off on is broken.
     First, I think you're confused.  Your name is May not March.  I'm sure you are in contact with your counterpart; the weather. If not, please do so and correct this craziness.  I realize I am talking to Iowa May but, Iowa May doesn't snow.  Rain, yes.  Snow, no..... never in my lifetime.  It is a simple rule you should never, ever break again.  Have you been drinking too much?
      Second, you have known my military husband would be gone during your whole month.  That leaves me to be a temporary single parent. 
     This brings me to my third point. We are only on day three and I've had enough.  My departing husband, the blown tire, the four tire purchase, the 40 mile trip on the donut spare down back roads, the "first day of spring", the snowstorm, and the harrowing admittance of Laramy in the hospital has been enough already! And we are only on day three!....wait, let me repeat....DAY 3. 
     It is very clear to me your brain train has jumped the track.  Please go back and study your name.  You are May.  April brought you showers.  Please bring us flowers.

With all the love I can muster,
 Monica

PS...I will be contacting you in my elderly years to confirm my son was in the hospital during your month and not March because I'm sure me and my bff will be arguing and reminiscing over the story during our afternoon snack in the nursing home.... 'cause it never snows in May so we will think it was March.  Please make a note for reference.