History is always in the making

December 7th, 1941.  I can't imagine the grief torn through the families who had loved ones stationed there.  And I'm sure there were many days of chaos and uncertainty as they waited to hear of survivors.  Both of my parents were around 10 years old when Pearl Harbor became history in the making.  While Pearl Harbor is history, so is our year of deployment.  Both changed my life.  But one  made me appreciate the sacrifice the military families in 1941 made for me. 

Over the last couple of weeks I have been revisiting the history of my life as I decorated my house for the holidays.  Last year at this time my heart was lacking the spirit with Brady and Eric gone.  So decorations were very limited.  But this year I have gone through every box and reminisced and we put out almost every decoration we own.

One of my Christmas trees was my Grandma Pieper's.  I can't believe I still have it.  It was Eric's and my first Christmas tree as a married couple 25 years ago.  When I pull it out of the box, the smell of old polyethylene triggers a memory of my childhood at Christmas time.  I don't always put this tree up.  But there was new sentiment this year for me as I pulled it out of the box once again.  I can think back to that time in my life as a 10 year old girl and know that I had no appreciation or understanding of anything military. But I can also imagine that my Gram was overcome with fear and insecurity as Pearl Harbor happened and she was a young mother with three young children. 

Our big family tree was my mom and dad's all of my teen years.  She gave me that tree in 1996 when my oldest son Brady was about 10.  Over the years we have collected and filled that tree with all of their ornaments plus ones from my childhood and a couple my Gram used to hang on her tree.  As I pulled out each one, I was reminded of the time it was made or given.  I treasure them. All three hundred are individually wrapped and as I pull out each one I try and repeat the story of where it came from or whose it was.  My boys often say to me, "I know Mom".  But someday I hope at least one of them will appreciate the history behind them all like I do. 

A couple of our other trees, we have five, remind me of the journey we have taken as a family.  Our smallest tree was always in the stairwell of the house we built.  Our slim 7 foot tree was bought for our second country house because we had no room at the inn for a big tree.  And my white tree was purchased from a garage sale with my dearest friend, Melody.  That tree will always remind me of great times with a great friend.

 I am sure by Christmas in 1941 most of the family members of the lost soldiers knew their loved one was gone.  I'm sure Christmas that year was a very devastating time for them.  I am so thankful to be facing holidays with my soldiers home and so grateful for all our military men and women who served and lost their lives for my freedom.  Their sacrifice gives me and my family the freedom to celebrate Jesus' birth and the freedom to enjoy all these wonderful Christmas memories.

A little section of Gram's tree.  It has been decorated many ways over the years. 

I used to help my Gram put this tree together. It is very fragile and I treasure it.

My childhood radio flyer sled... We pulled the kids on it when they were little.  I adore it decorated on my porch.

Our family tree.. I think Ayden loves the tree topper because it has been around his whole life. It is his history.

This is an old ornament from my childhood...I didn't realize until I was an adult that it wasn't Jesus.  :)  But I tell my kids every year it is hung that I thought this was Jesus when I was a little girl.  They inform me they know.

And this is another ornament from my childhood... a favorite.

I hope you'll all take time to reflect  this Christmas season over your own histories, good or bad, and count your blessings. Our histories make us who we are.

God Bless,

much love and Merry Christmas,

Monica

Luke 2:11-14

For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."

Thankful I'm forever changed

Post deployment.  Reintegration. Adjusting. There is help available. These were words that we heard often during the last couple months of Eric's deployment and after he returned. Eric has been home for four months.  Brady has been home for three (but only one here at home as he's now back in college).  And I haven't written much because we've been doing just that...reintegrating and adjusting.

Eric and I chatted almost everyday while he was deployed using instant messager on facebook or hotmail.  But that's really all we did..chatted.  I was his link to normal life  away from living in fear of his life. We dreamed and chatted about lots of little things and sometimes big things.  But nothing really real and nothing much about real life other than things he had missed.

I realize now deployment was its own life cycle.  Eric and I both said (considering we have a fairly healthy strong marriage grounded in our faith) we would be just fine with reintegration.  But I can tell you now,, even with a healthy strong marriage, reintegration is tough.  Deployment is kind of like an opportunity to see what it would be like if your spouse or child passed away.  Maybe that sounds morbid but it is true.  Communication is limited and not normal.  All of the responsibilities are left to the spouse and family at home.  But now I'm at the point where I can talk about it because I'm starting to see how it changed me.

I viewed deployment as time I needed to endure.  We had to discuss tough things before he left....our wills and his wishes for his funeral and burial.  And hopefully they would return, deployment would end, and life would be back to normal.  I knew deployment would change my husband and son.  I wasn't sure how or in what ways and I hoped and prayed in not bad ways.  But I never thought it would change me necessarily.  People would ask me how they were doing and many times I would choke up.  And I thought ... I can't wait for this to pass...  except now I find myself chokingup because my heart is forever changed.

When Eric left, I tucked away the thought that if something happened and he didn't return, I would have to sell our house.  But about half way through I changed my thinking as I knew I was very capable.  We had many car issues, the kitchen fire, the broken lawn mower...the list is long.  There is an unwritten law about deployment that seems to state that the minute deployment starts issues start to happen. And I learned I could deal with it all.  For all of those lessons, I am thankful.  I am thankful for the strength I gained.  It is during times of stress, distress, and unrest, we grow the most.

But I'm the most thankful for the change in my heart.  I never expected to be so emotionally responsive and understanding to many things.  I didn't realize how tight I was holding myself to endure the year.  I didn't realize how it was affecting the boys and how hard it was for them emotionally, too.  But now I see.  And now I am thankful for the experience and for the changes we embraced and are yet to face and embrace. Without a doubt, there is more to come as history has taught us.

(btw.... not only is my heart forever changed...but I've been changing my tunes on my blog ;) ... stay tuned as I am still searching for a great playlist... these are just some fun ones for life should include fun!)

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Prayer Request
1) Please keep the Manning family in your prayers as they send their son, Dyllan overseas today.  He was a good high school friend of Brenden's. 
2) Please pray for all of the military families who are adjusting to having their soldiers home.  Deployment causes many marriages to crumble.
3) Keep all of the soldiers in your prayers as many of them are dealing with PTSD and health issues.

Be Careful

That's what Brady's friend, Cody, says to anyone who might be accepting an invitation to the Pugh's for dinner.  We started juicing about three weeks ago.  And by juicing I mean putting lots of fruits and vegetables in a juicer...not steroids (apparently that is also called juicing).  My mom casually mentioned the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead to me.  Eric and I watched it and found ourselves inspired to give it a try.  I then mentioned it to our friends, Justin and Melody, and they started juicing the next day.  They mentioned it to more friends and now we have a huge community of friends who are juicing.  Most are juicing once or twice a day for huge nutritional benefits not necessarily to lose weight. Cody just happened to be with us the day our juicer came and helped us buy our first load of produce at Costco.  We then went home for a dinner of juice....  and a family movie night of Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Netflix; Cody included.  The guys were inspired, as well, after the documentary...maybe I should say they held some reserved enthusiasm.  Except they are guys and the thought of seeing what happened to whatever they put in the juicer really peaked their interest more than anything I think.  So we all stood around in the kitchen while we prepped produce and oohed and ahhhed as juice came out.  And then we divided up our juice concoction and toasted to our health!  And in the days that followed we realized one juicer wasn't enough because we had to wait our turn.  So now we have two.  Laramy announced after the second day that he felt better.  That speaks volumes because he only eats raw carrots, meat, and junk food.  Brady and Ayden were in from the beginning and will basically drink anything.  Brady even bought his own juicer for his apartment.  Bren and Sarah were up and they gave it a try, too.  Logan has been the most skeptical.  But I found out he has been juicing by himself and he is trying anything I make.  And a few days ago my mom and dad started juicing, too. 

One of these things is not like the others....... well, they are nuts ;)

Pretty and colorful.... who would not love this?

Eric and I started our venture by trying to do a juice fast for ten days.  The first two days went really well and I never felt hungry although it was quite a mental game and I wished I could chew something.  By day three I had dropped four pounds and I was a little concerned about the fast weight loss but I felt great.  By the end of day three Eric and I both wanted to season our juice with some grilled chicken!  And it was then that we realized we both needed protein with our juice.  So by day four I was eating some nuts with my juice and some healthy meat with my dinner juice.  Since then we haven't really stopped juicing.  We are making it a way of life and I feel really, really good.  I juice for breakfast and lunch and eat a normal dinner. 

This is not juice...everything in moderation...we went out to eat and these are loaded waffle fries

Brady also bought a bike...not just any bike... a Giant full carbon frame bike.  It only weighs eight pounds.  And now we are all biking, too.  I am so very excited.  I completed my first RAGBRAI when I was forty-two to the surprise and amazement of my sons and husband.  Ayden bought his first bike when he was nine with his paper money and he completed his first RAGBRAI at the age of 11.  Eric has been our crew and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to bike that much until this summer.  I fixed up my first bike for him to get started and he loves it.  Logan bought a hybrid for transportation to work. And Laramy started riding Eric's bike during the day while he is at work.  Last week myself, Brady, Laramy, and Ayden rode to Pammel and back... a great accomplishment for Laramy.  And the next day Brady, Ayden, and I took Logan on a 15 mile journey mostly around town.  Logan was quite impressive with keeping up and while we nearly killed him he is inspired to start riding more with us too.  I have to say that I felt like a momma hen with her brood of chicks following behind....... it was awesome!!  We are now living with five bikes in our dining/living room and one on the porch.  I love it.

Ayden and I starting out on our 100 mile day RAGBRAI 2011..next year our group will be bigger

And so this brings me back to Cody, Brady's friend.  Brady and Laramy were heading out for a ride and Cody decided he wanted to go along.  In fact, he thought Pammel sounded like a great idea..he was in... Not the best thing to choose for your first ride with the Pugh's.  But apparently we didn't kill his spirit for riding as he says he would do it again and felt great.  He does, however, tease that everyone should be careful about any invitations they accept from the Pugh's... as dinner might just be juice and a bike ride is not just a casual stroll. 

We are enjoying summer...hope you all are too!
God Bless,
Love,
Monica

My mind is full of blog

My husband ate a purple onion slice.... raw.  It was on his sandwich but it was still raw.  He also ate horseradish sauce on his roast beef Saturday night.  I wouldn't have noticed either incident except he made a comment about how good they both tasted.  And then I sat and stared in amazment and wondered if he had left part of himself in Afghanistan.  And then I mentioned to him that I had been eating baked beans...three times since he's been home.  For those of you who know our eating habits intimately you know that Eric is (or was) very, very picky and I am not.  But I don't eat baked beans and he doesn't eat onions or horseradish.  Could it be that we missed each other so much that we assumed each others' habits?  Maybe.  But I also know that deployment changes your life and so maybe what we eat just isn't that important anymore except that we're just thankful to be sharing a meal together.

On June 18, I was driving from the hardware store to the grocery, when my car rang. Her name is Genesis and she takes control of my phone when I start her. I didn't recognize the number on the display.  I answered.  It was Eric saying he was in Wisconsin.  I had heard Eric's voice less than 10 times during the year.  So to hear his voice and hear him say he was close to home was unbelievable.  He had to go and I sat in my car for a few minutes steeling myself up to make a quick dash through the grocery.  I went in hoping I wouldn't see anyone I knew (not really a hopeful thought since we live in a small town).  I made it to the fast lane just in time to run into someone who said, "How's the guys?"  And I lost it and started tearing up.  Poor guy thought something bad had happened but I choked out that Eric had just made it to the states. I guess I didn't really realize how tight I was holding myself all year long until that moment.  And then finally last Monday we received the same phone call from Brady.  I haven't heard Brady's voice at all since he went back after his leave four months ago.  I can't describe in words the difference in my feelings about my husband's deployment and my son's. They are completely different. In fact, I think I've stuffed feelings about Brady's deployment away because it was just too much for me as his mother.  But in just a few short days this round will be completely over.  Will they ever be deployed again?  We don't know.  I do know that even though I wouldn't want to handle it, I could.  And so could they. 

Well, I keep finding myself staring at Eric as he moves around the house.  I keep wondering if he is really actually here and he looks sooooo good I can't keep my eyes off of him.  And then he says, "What?"  To which I don't have an answer except, "You just look so good!"  We bought him a couple of tank tops to work out in and he is sporting one today.  He was feeling a little self-concious about my continual gaze so he asked if it was okay to wear to which I said, "you're so okay you could go strapless if you want!" Laughter is good for reintegration.

We have both said it is a good thing we like each other because readjusting has been stressful for us at times.  I have taken care of everything and had to answer to no one for 14 months.  He has lived in constant fear of his life and had to answer to everyone for 14 months.  He is adjusting to seeing women and looking them in the eye along with the freedom to do what he wishes and eat when he wants.  Some may say he is enjoying his cocktail hour, which occurs whenever he wants, a little too much but I say he is entitled.

So I am full of blog!  Eric, the boys, and I have been chillaxin', biking, and hanging in our pool almost daily.  We are enjoying every minute of Eric being home which is why I have neglected my blog and even facebook.  But even though this deployment is almost completely over I will continue writing.  I enjoy it and we are still a military family and there is never a dull moment it seems in our lives.  I hope you'll continue to read and I hope I have lots of inspiration from less stressful things to write about.

Eric and I celebrated our 25th anniversary by biking around Ames and visiting campus and Hickory Park. We started our lives togethether in Ames and had three children by the time we left.  We snapped this picture under the campanile.

We cannot express enough how thankful we are for everyone's prayers, support, and words of encouragement throughout this deployment.

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Bring on the next 25!!

I am counting down.  Eric told me no countdowns.  But I can't help it and neither can he.  I have teased a lot about all the things I've done while he has been gone..mostly to people and not Eric.  But many of those things kept me busy and my mind occupied. 

Last Tuesday, June 7th, was our 25th wedding anniversary.  When Eric found out he was leaving, one of my first thoughts was that he would miss our anniversary.  But it was just a day in our lives.  Nothing special happened and may not have even happened if he had been here.  He has missed so many more important things like Laramy getting his license and Ayden's first swim meet and Logan heading off to college and finishing his first year.  I have thought at times that the year hasn't seemed too long until I go back and think about all that has happened.  And then I realize it has been a long time. Even the last 25 years seem to have blinked by until I think back to all we have done and experienced. 

Eric and I have spent a lot of time chatting about our dreams and goals and how we want our life to be together upon his return.  I know that has helped to keep his mind occupied at times, too.  But we moved three times in five years (we moved 7 times total in 25 years) and moves always involve change and stress. 

So before Eric left we kind of decided that I would spend the year getting our life organized from the moves because that's what I  love to do..organize.  And so that's what I've done.  And I used this time apart as a positive thing in our life even though it has been incredibly difficult. 

I started with our money and studied Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and then I sent it to him and he read it.  So while I was in charge of our finances, we talked through everything.  I can't recommend Dave Ramsey enough.

And then I started organizing...and I started with his garage.  Most men gasp when I mention this but... I did it with the knowledge that it is going to be torn down soon..very soon.  I also straightened his tools in the basement.  But I had to because I straightened his tools in the garage.  I threw out most of his clothes.  But he needs new and he has lost a lot of weight...a lot.  And I also started shopping for him on end of season racks so he is coming home to some fun stuff.  I also stole his side of the bed.  We've slept in the same spots for 25 years and now we are switching.  But he also has a new memory foam mattress to come home to and now he sleeps closer to the door which will be to his benefit.

I've painted almost every room, moved things around, and shuffled stuff until I was satisfied.  He will be coming home to lots of changes and nice surprises. We will probably discover some of my changes together because I've long since forgotten he doesn't know about them.  But it will be good because we will all have a lot of adjusting to do. 

It just doesn't matter what he's missed or the changes I've made. We have still been married for 25 years. Most importantly he is coming home to a safe place, full of love, ready and waiting, where he will no longer live in fear every day.

Happy Silver Anniversary..... can't wait to see what the next 25 brings us!

Thank you, everyone, for all of your prayers and support! It has meant so much to both of us. Remember to make each day count and not just the special ones.

God Bless,

Love,

Monica

May the force be with you.....

I just signed out for the last time with Eric and our regular morning chat sessions. HTIME (happy tears in my eyes).  I feel very fortunate to have been able to IM with him almost every morning my time..his evening.  From this point on, I won't know for sure when he will have computer access which is the way it is for many of our soldiers daily.  I have been incredibly blessed with having that luxury.  And on days when I didn't hear from him my anxiety level always rose wondering if he was still okay.  But I have learned to use prayer and humor to keep myself in check.  And, so, I thought you would all enjoy this last picture that came through today. 

Right after Eric left last fall, we sent him a light saber for "protection".  We are, after all, a Star Wars family and we knew his mission wouldn't be complete without it.  I am happy to see that it is still helping him and has made the customs inspection. 

I love you SSG Pugh and can't wait to see you face to face!

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Prayer requests:
1) Remember that despite the fun pictures there is no safe place in that very dangerous country. Please continue to pray for all of our troops daily.
2) Please pray for Missy and Cecil Hoskins who married on their leave last month but haven't seen each other or possibly spoken to each other since they returned to finish their tours.  Pray they both stay safe and have a hedge of protection around them.  Missy graduated with Brady. 
3) Pray for our troops who are starting their processes to come home..timely flights and not too much hurry up and wait.
4) Pray for the next five-ish weeks and nine-ish weeks to pass quickly!

Let the summer begin!

Tree frogs can make a momma blood-curdle scream if they jump on her arm and subsequently make her "pond" overflow!  I was putting in the last of the annuals this morning by the fence when all of a sudden a slimy something landed on my arm and out of my mouth came the loudest scream.  Fortunately, the moment wasn't lost on just me because Logan was on the other side of the fence mowing..yes, mowing (I scream loud).  He stopped the mower and came running to my aid...(interpretation: he is tall and peaked over the fence).  But tree frogs are cute so I quickly caught it and showed him what was causing his mother so much distress.  It's not the frog..it's the jumping.  We have been possibly listening to this frog for the last couple of nights as he has enjoyed a late night dip in our actual pond.  So it was kind of fun to see what had been making all that peaceful racket.  Ayden snapped a quick picture and we put him back on the rocks below the deck. 

Speaking of my pond...it is running.  I mentioned this to a co-worker last week.  I said, "Our pond is running".  I was thinking she had enjoyed some time on my deck.  Apparently she had not.  Because she said, "What does that mean? Are you peeing your pants?".  I burst into laughter which at times can be dangerous for me and make my "pond" overflow!  We do have a wonderful water feature that Brady installed last spring and we are enjoying it very much (even though I think it has a leak :( ).  The frogs are enjoying it too and so are the birds.  We just need to go fishing and catch some small sunnies.  We are so looking forward to hanging out on the deck enjoying the summer sounds when Eric and Brady return.  We are ready!

Eric...you've been asking for some pictures.....

Silly tree frog....  I think I squeezed him so hard his "pond" overflowed...

One of your surprises... a new columbine...isn't it beautiful?!

The Bleeding Heart bush looks awesome this year...

Baby robins on my 2nd story closet window ledge...momma doesn't like me watching at all

And at last..the pond...including the baby mouse ears hosta at the bottom right....

God Bless,

Love,

Monica

Prayer Requests:

1) Please pray for physical stamina for Eric as he finishes up and for all of the soldiers in his unit.  They are worn and tired and excited to come home.

2) Praise for God's creations...they have given me great purpose this spring and helped to keep my mind occupied.  I have enjoyed them because Eric and Brady enjoy them so much.  Brady worked so hard on our yard last spring.  It is so much appreciated, son. 

3) Continue to pray for safety for them and for all of our soldiers who will continue on and those who will take over.

4) Praise for my health and my doctors who have gotten me to this point.  Last year at this time I would not have been able to do all of the yard work that I have done this spring.  I am so thankful that during this stressful year my health has improved immeasurably.

Back to the past Monica style

I woke early from a dream this morning....way too early.  And I was so possessed with words for my blog that I turned on my light to write (my laptop sleeps in Eric's space in the bed for easy access).  I dreamed I had gone back to college complete with two very young 18-year-old roommates and a loft bed.  I was welcomed with open arms and even announced to them, "Let's get this straight..I'm 46..and I'm going to get my second degree and I hope we have a lot of fun together".  To which the one girl said, "Oh, we knew you were older but not that old".  And I was wearing a very short pair of shorts and had my 20-year-old legs...which is the only part of the dream I enjoyed.  And in my now half-awakened state, I can tell you where this random dream came from.  There are a lot of college kids returning home for the summer, I would love to get another degree, and I've been watching an old show on Netflix called thirtysomething.  Remember that show?  It was a show about baby boomers in their late thirties and premiered in the fall of 1987.

Netflix is the best $10 I spend a month for entertainment in the absence of my husband.  I haven't seen this show since it ended.  I never missed an episode from start to finish..remember those were the days just slightly pre-VCR and we didn't record anything let alone DVR anything.  I was pleasantly surprised to see it on instant play and have spent the last couple of weeks watching an episode to help me drift off (sometimes Michael's skepticism and Hope's whining does get to me..funny how I don't remember that when I originally watched it).

The fall of 1987....interestingly enough I had  6-month old baby Brady and Hope had baby Janie even though I was 22 and she was well, thirtysomething.  Eric had just been informed he was to report for AIT and within days he shipped to Georgia and missed his best friend, Bret's wedding.  So it is no wonder  I have found comfort watching it again now all these years later because it was something that kept me company while he was gone those four months...and I was in college, too.  See where this is all coming together now?

I was really surprised as episode one started..the theme song took me right back to the late 80's.  And then the clothes hit me..we were really dowdy back then.  And I don't remember men wearing man jewelry but apparently it was the "in" thing because Elliot sports multiple pieces.  And most of their phones still had cords and dials..oh, yeah! there weren't cordless phones just yet.  And then all of a sudden I see Ellen in an outfit and I think, "Well, that's kind of cute".  What!!  But then again I recently spied a jacket in a fashion catalog that was a cross between Members Only and an Eddie Murphy jacket I vaguely remember.  Scrunchies, clippies, really high-waisted jeans and baggy clothes for women, and jackets that seem too small for men immediately took me back to that time-frame.  And I found myself able to examine myself and what I knew. 

By the time the show ended in May of 1991, I had graduated college, Hope and I had our second babies together, the Gulf War had started and ended with us escaping deployment, and I was due with our third son, Logan.  Eric and I had been married for five years and I had adjusted well to being military wife one weekend a month and two weeks during the summer and communication to soldiers overseas was still basically limited to hand-written letters. That's all I considered us....part-time military. I remember spending many nights praying back then and hoping Eric wouldn't be sent overseas.  I still to this day don't know how these young military wives handle deployment with small children and they all remain in my constant prayers.

Logan turns 20 in July.  Everything has changed so much in 20 years which is easily evidenced as I make my way through another episode (I am currently in season two).  Thankfully, the era of acid-washed jeans and really bad sweaters, men's and women's, has passed.  And thankfully I recognize now that we are full-time military all day every day and always have been.  Maybe I've just always known that but now I truly accept it in my heart.

And in my heart I am officially counting down...it won't be long now and these 400 day tours will be over for all of us.

God Bless,
love,
Monica

How many passes does it take to get your mower dirty?

Today was a historical day with Prince William and Princess Kate's wedding.  Don't be fooled or distracted by all of their hoopla (which I enjoyed thoroughly because it was happy news).  I have made copious amounts of historical data myself in the last two days with the purchase and assemblage of a brand new push mower for the Pugh family!  Yes, you heard it here first.  I researched and purchased a mower yesterday and today I assembled it (not that tough), started it successfully (did call my neighbor, Myron, up for support), and mowed my back yard. 

But I did have to chuckle at myself a few times.  After I assembled it in the living room (remember this is my first time and I wasn't sure where to do these things at plus, I was watching the wedding), I took it to the front porch to stand back and admire it.  It is bright red and nice and shiny clean.  If you think back to my spring gardening post you will remember that I really don't like dirty.  And I had a thought of wondering how long I could keep the mower clean.  The mower came complete with oil.  So I followed the instructions to fill it but felt slightly stressed when I dripped some on the shiny red deck.  And I chuckled a little.  I've never, ever felt ownership of a mower before.  And then I thought, "Well, I have a new mower so I need a new gas can". And I was off on the errand. On return, we (cause Logan came out and Myron had arrived) filled the gas tank and started it up.  And that was that.  And then I was off to mow the back yard and with one pass my brand new mower was dirty.  So, Eric, you can come home and take care of the mower..I won't try and keep it too clean or get irritated if you get it dirty.  In fact, I really don't want any ownership in it.  But I did purchase one that has a deck clean feature..you just hook up a hose and turn it on if you want.

So maybe now you have all decided that the world really must be coming to an end if Monica assembled a mower.  Well, don't let the mower convince you.  It has been reported to me by my mother that she had a margarita last weekend with her Mexican dinner! The world must be ending. (sorry, mom, don't tell on yourself to a daughter who blogs)  So It has been a history making week for many including my mom. And I was very thankful for the enchanting royal story to entertain me.  I would much rather be enjoying the girly-girl things like a royal wedding or drinks with some girlfriends than assembling a mower in the future. But I will never forget where I was or what I was doing the day that William and Kate tied the knot.  Cheers! (now if my prince would just hurry home.....)

Gotta love a soldier who would wear his wife's heart signature on his helmet.....

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Choices

The last few weeks have been very difficult emotionally and mentally with the news of three fallen Iowa soldiers and many more injured.  It was with a very heavy heart that I pulled our flag to half-mast yet again this morning.  This last soldier, James Justice, was a part of the 1-113th CAV which is Brady's troop.  And while I know their hearts are all heavy I also know that they will carry on in his honor in true cavalry spirit. 

While adjusting my flag, I was reminded that my life is full of choices.  The choice to be patriotic, informed, kind, honest, spiritual, happy, political, neighborly, genuine, in love...these are all mine to choose and I am so thankful for the freedom to do so.  They all aren't just feelings I have they require action from me.  I will admit  Eric has always taken care of our flags in every house we have lived.  The very first thing he did when we moved into this house was to hang his flag and spotlight it.  We were fortunate to move into a house with a pole in the ground, albeit on the wrong side of the sidewalk.  But I think I have always considered it his flag up until this last month.  I have changed the bulb in his light twice since he left and the whole time I was changing it I was thinking about how thankful I was to be taking care of his flag.  Except this morning I thought to myself...I am really thankful Eric made it so easy for me to raise and lower our flag so that I could honor these fallen heroes by lowering it..not just taking it down.  I thanked him during our chat time and I know he was thankful (but somewhat surprised) that I was making sure our flag was being flown appropriately.

I grew up next to my dad's parents; my paternal grandparents.  And I watched my grandfather put up and take down his flag every day.  I never thought much about it when I was a kid.  It was what he did and I took it for granted.  But I realize now he was making a choice to be patriotic on a daily basis. 

I often have people comment on how they don't know how I do it or that I am very strong to handle deployment.  Well, I can tell you that I am not always strong but I do it because I have the choice to do so.  I could get up every morning and whine and complain or I can dig my heels in and make the choice to do it.  I choose to do it because my family members chose to serve...not just my husband and son but my father, as well.  

Today all of our military personnel choose to serve so that we enjoy our freedoms... to celebrate Easter, to have a party, to ride in RAGBRAI, to spend the day hanging at the mall or with friends, to grill out, to garden, to sit on the couch and read a book.....anything.   SSG James Justice was one of those soldiers who chose to go on his fourth mission and serve his country so that I could choose to hang our flag everyday.  Please remember to keep our fallen soldiers families in your prayers as they go through these difficult times.

May God continue to protect our freedom for choices.

http://www.usa-flag-site.org/etiquette.shtml

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Spring is springing

I am sitting here today, finally inspired to write after quite a dry spell, with tears and an anxious heart but also feeling the excitement of the season.

We are seeing signs of spring all around us which means the last season is upon us before my first soldier returns home.  The crocuses are no longer blooming while the golden forsythia and the magnolia trees are in full bloom.  And I'm anxiously waiting for the red buds to burst open with their beautiful color and the crab apples to lend their various shades to this time of year.  I wouldn't know these things or probably be as passionate about them except that my husband taught me to be that way. I am so happy this last season has arrived and I am so sad he is not here to share it with me.  Brady shares equally in his dad's passion and I will miss his hard labor in the yard this spring, too.

One of Eric's and my favorite spring activities is visiting all the garden centers and picking out our annuals and choosing a few new perennials to add to our collection.  I am very thankful for Melody who shares the same passion and enjoys this activity, as well.  Melody and I (in lieu of any good garage sales to attend) made our first trek to Groth's Gardens last Saturday to check things out.  And while there, I was faced with the realization that if I am to have annuals this year I will have to actually get dirty!  I love picking the plants and the wonderful colors.  Eric loves mixing the soil and digging them in...I will miss him and Brady playing in the dirt this spring.  But I will buy gloves so when they return the yard will sport some beautiful colors.

While we are here enjoying the emergence of warmer days and all the things higher temps bring, our soldiers (from what I understand) are experiencing increased enemy activity with warmer temps.  I know this brings anxiety with the anticipation of gearing down as many of our soldiers are preparing to return home. And yet they all need to stay as alert and aware as ever because their journey is not over.

We have evidence this week of this activity with the loss of two Iowa soldiers. As time has passed and tour ends draw closer, it has been easier to feel slightly more relaxed at times for me.  I have had people comment on how close their homecomings are and we all breathe a sigh of relief together.  But all of our soldiers still need our prayers.  We need to persevere and stand aware until they all return home. 

So while you work in the yard or enjoy a spring soccer game, remember all of our soldiers as they anxiously anticipate the end of their tours.  And say an extra prayer for the families who have lost their soldiers this week.

God Bless,
love,
Monica

Only one constant for me

After Brady was born, he was jaundiced like many babies.  My mom and I took him home to Eric's and my apartment.  We enjoyed every peaceful moment with him while we held him near the window in the sunshine.  The whole process of becoming a mother for the first time was incredibly amazing to me.  But I particularly remember looking down at him and seeing the sunshine highlight the teeny tiny vessels and veins in his ears.  It was at that moment that I truly realized that something else was in contol of this world and my baby didn't just happen but was created by God.

Most of you know that I have had trial after trial during the last few months.  We are unfortunately not unfamiliar with trials in our lives. Everyone goes through trials. But it just seems that everything that could possibly go wrong while Eric is serving has gone wrong.  I have had more car issues that I can remember in 25 years of marriage.  In fact, I can talk a pretty good car lingo now which is something I never aspired to do.  I would have never imagined that I would have a fire in my house during deployment or that my furnace would break down not once, but twice.  If you remember, I only received the "how to change the furnace filter instructions" pre-deployment. 

The one thing I thought I would never have to think twice about was my new Ford Edge that Eric bought for me before he left for just that reason....no stess, no thought..just a nice car to drive while he was gone.  But amazingly enough I have learned that even those earthly things you think you can trust are still just that; earthly things.  My car has now been in the shop for the third time since the accident.  I can't tell you how shocked I was as they towed my car away on Monday evening.  But as I watched with sadness, I started to think of how perfect God's timing was in all of it.  I had just gone through my planner and decided to keep all of my phone numbers to my insurance agent, Noble Ford, and Enterprise.  I had also taken my planner with me to run my errands which is something I don't normally do.  I dropped Ayden at the gym and proceeded to Breedings to get a quart of paint mixed and that is where I decided to idle while I talked to my sister.  Had I not sat and idled my car wouldn't have had the chance to heat up and explode like it did.  I quickly shut off my car, reached for my planner, and called Noble Ford who was still open for one hour.  They sent out a tow truck and my car was gone by 6pm.  If I had decided to exercise first, Noble Ford and Breedings both would have been closed.  And I still would have been unaware and would have taken off on our trip Friday with a car that had no fans to cool the engine.  I can't put everything to coincidence.  I was not in charge of my timing, God was.

 There are things that happen that forever change your heart.  I can't imagine how the people of Japan feel.  What I have experienced is miniscule compared to what they are going through.  So while it has been difficult and I've shed some quiet tears as I've climbed into bed at night, I continue to realize my one constant in my life: my faith in God and in my Savior Jesus Christ.  Nothing changes for me in this aspect ever on a daily basis and I always know He is the only constant for me even in light of the disaster in Japan.  Whether big disasters or life's daily trials, if life didn't have them would we look to God for any reason? 

Psalm 20:8 Some rely on chariots, others on horses, but we on the name of the Lord our God.

Love,
Monica

Prayer requests:
1)Please pray for my car to be fixed and for travel safety this weekend.
2)Pray for peace of mind for Eric and Brady as they try and finish these last few months.
3)Pray for Eric's fellow soldier who was evacuated with suspected Malaria.  All of the soldiers overseas take medication daily to prevent them from contracting the disease.  Pray for protection for all of them.
4)Please pray for protection for our family from any further trials at this time. 

How to Renew Your Driver's License

This deployment has been  riddled with how-to lessons for me.  I have learned how to remove a large limb from a large tree and I have learned how to act quickly and put out a fire.  I even have learned more big words about car repairs than I ever want to know.  But over the last two days I learned how to renew your driver's license the long way.

We were all very sad to see more snow after having everything melt away.  But despite the weather, Ayden still had his pops concert Thursday night.  So we headed to the school, parked my car on the street like usual, and joined all the others jr. high families for an hour of never-to-be-forgotten entertainment. 

Except I didn't get to see much of the concert.  I was tapped on the shoulder from behind and told my car had been hit and the cops were outside.  I actually went out in a very calm manner...because at this point how else was I to be?  A car had slid, another car swerved and hit the parked car in front of me and that parked car hit the front end of my car.  Okay.  Stupid snow.  Cops did their job and information was taken and police report was given.

I called my insurance company promptly in the morning.  I told them it appeared to just be front bumper damage because that's what I was told and all parties involved were reported and documented.  I went to work an hour later and received calls from Enterprise and the Ford dealership on my way.  And right after my shift, I headed out to get the estimate in the next town.

Upon inspection, the collision guy noticed almost immediately I had a transmission fluid leak.  It was red fluid.  So he took it into the shop where they pronounced it non-driveable!  The transmission cooler thing-a-ma-whatsahoochey (that's one of the big words I've learned) was cracked from the hit.  Apparently, in my Edge there are a lot of things down low there in the front that are easily damaged in a collision.  I tried very hard to keep my composure.  But after everything that has happened this year, I did get a little choked up.  But I recovered and while we waited for the Enterprise guy, I chatted with the collsion guy and receptionist about the deployment, etc.  I also mentioned it would be really nice if my rental car was a Ford Mustang!

Will arrived.  We're on a first name basis now.  He's the Enterprise guy.  He took my license.  I asked him what he brought me.  He said, "An HHR".  What is that? He took my military ID.  And then he said, "Well, I can't rent you this car because you are not a full-time military member and your driver's license is expired".  What?  *!x*? Not only was it expired, it was almost a year expired! I would possibly have to take the test!  The other three of us in the office were silent.  It's 3 o'clock on a Friday afternoon.  I have to work at five.  I am 25 miles from my home with no vehicle and no valid driver's license.  You just can't make this stuff up.

Collision guy suggested a trip to the driver's license station considering we were in the county seat and he called to make sure they were open.  They were until 4:30pm.  So Will, just like the Enterprise commercials we see on TV, took me to the Driver's License station.  We chatted a bit on the way.  We arrived quickly and there was no line.  I said I needed to get my license renewed.  She looked at my old one.  She said, "You made it just in time..you were close".  I said, "What does that mean?"  She said, "You don't have to take the test."  And I cheered and said to Will, "I don't have to take the test"!  Woohoo!  And then Will said, "Do you mind if I get mine renewed, too"?  And I said, "Nope.  Go right ahead.  This is making for a great story and you are going in my blog"!  So Will and I made a memory...I don't think I'll ever forget this how-to lesson in driver's license renewal. 

BTW..they don't let you smile..I looked pissed on my new picture.  Funny since I was actually laughing.  And an HHR is a Chevy flexfuel vehicle and I am not impressed and really miss my Edge.  Her name is Genesis and I'm sure she is really lonely.  HHR doesn't talk to me either like Genesis.  We'll see you soon Sis...and it will be another new beginning for her and us...which is how she got her name in the first place.

God Bless,
Monica

Prayer Request
1) Pray for Eric to continue to adjust after an arduous 10-day trip half-way around the world. 
2) Praise and thanks for time well-spent with Brady for spending his birthday with him.  He hasn't been around on his birthday for many years so we'll spoil him for the day today.
3) Praise for one more testing of my wisdom and knowledge.  But maybe we should pray for things to stop before my head explodes with too much wisdom and knowledge.  Not sure how much more I can take.
4) Praise and thanks for time never stopping and melting snow..two things we continually look forward to as they work together..God is good and spring is on the way.
5) Pray they find everything wrong with my car and fix it in a timely fashion.
6) Praise for Will the Enterprise guy and the Noble Ford people who were such helpful strangers in a very stressful moments!

Ecclesiastes 3:1-3 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.

Payback can be fun

I haven't written for quite awhile.  Not because I haven't had anything to write about..I think I've probably had too much to write about and I just couldn't choose.  I have also been very busy with visitors.  :)  And the kitchen clean up really took some time.  I had been working on this entry about my boys as a little payback..but I'm probably just fueling the fire as I'm sure I'll leave my facebook logged on yet again.

My sweet boys... I can't believe time has passed so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday I was taking a ball of boys everywhere.  Well, it just seemed like that because with five of them all together they were just really busy...they were good boys..just busy all the time no matter where we went.  And they couldn't really leave each other alone which is why I felt like I was toting along a ball of boys.    But this picture is for them since they can't seem to leave my facebook status alone.  And, yes, I dressed them alike as often as I could and THEY LOVED IT!!

This one isn't payback but I had to include it.. it's one of my favorite pictures I took one afternoon on a whim.  It was summer time.  I love their dirty little feet and hands in contrast to Ayden's sweet baby feet and hands.  And I love how they have Eric's feet and my pinky fingers.  This was back when I could still sort their socks and knew whose was whose.  Socks remain my nemesis in this house.  However, we no longer have a sock basket to dig through.

And then there are times when I just need back up in this house with all of the male-ness and military stuff going on around me... that's when a snowwoman comes in handy...and yet another great way to payback the boys for all of their shenanigans and fun they have with me.  I'm sure someday, when they have their own children, I will hear them telling about how grandma used to embarrass them when they were teens by building a snowwoman complete with boobs and a booty in the yard.  Just for the record, I have only built one snowwoman ever in their lifetime.  Because I'm sure they will embellish and grow the story.

We received quite a surprise on Sunday when we were able to pick Brady up for his leave and all be together for a couple of hours.  We used the self-timer on Eric's camera to get this picture of us all.  I wish I could post all the pictures of the progression to get just this one good one!

And while just a couple days ago we were all together, Eric and I said good-bye yet again this morning.  I am really thankful God timed their visits so they could tag-team.  It 
made Eric's leaving a little easier..not much..but a little. 

Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers.  It really blesses our family to know we are supported by so many!  More to come soon!

Love,
Monica

Romans 5:1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.