Bring on the next 25!!

I am counting down.  Eric told me no countdowns.  But I can't help it and neither can he.  I have teased a lot about all the things I've done while he has been gone..mostly to people and not Eric.  But many of those things kept me busy and my mind occupied. 

Last Tuesday, June 7th, was our 25th wedding anniversary.  When Eric found out he was leaving, one of my first thoughts was that he would miss our anniversary.  But it was just a day in our lives.  Nothing special happened and may not have even happened if he had been here.  He has missed so many more important things like Laramy getting his license and Ayden's first swim meet and Logan heading off to college and finishing his first year.  I have thought at times that the year hasn't seemed too long until I go back and think about all that has happened.  And then I realize it has been a long time. Even the last 25 years seem to have blinked by until I think back to all we have done and experienced. 

Eric and I have spent a lot of time chatting about our dreams and goals and how we want our life to be together upon his return.  I know that has helped to keep his mind occupied at times, too.  But we moved three times in five years (we moved 7 times total in 25 years) and moves always involve change and stress. 

So before Eric left we kind of decided that I would spend the year getting our life organized from the moves because that's what I  love to do..organize.  And so that's what I've done.  And I used this time apart as a positive thing in our life even though it has been incredibly difficult. 

I started with our money and studied Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and then I sent it to him and he read it.  So while I was in charge of our finances, we talked through everything.  I can't recommend Dave Ramsey enough.

And then I started organizing...and I started with his garage.  Most men gasp when I mention this but... I did it with the knowledge that it is going to be torn down soon..very soon.  I also straightened his tools in the basement.  But I had to because I straightened his tools in the garage.  I threw out most of his clothes.  But he needs new and he has lost a lot of weight...a lot.  And I also started shopping for him on end of season racks so he is coming home to some fun stuff.  I also stole his side of the bed.  We've slept in the same spots for 25 years and now we are switching.  But he also has a new memory foam mattress to come home to and now he sleeps closer to the door which will be to his benefit.

I've painted almost every room, moved things around, and shuffled stuff until I was satisfied.  He will be coming home to lots of changes and nice surprises. We will probably discover some of my changes together because I've long since forgotten he doesn't know about them.  But it will be good because we will all have a lot of adjusting to do. 

It just doesn't matter what he's missed or the changes I've made. We have still been married for 25 years. Most importantly he is coming home to a safe place, full of love, ready and waiting, where he will no longer live in fear every day.

Happy Silver Anniversary..... can't wait to see what the next 25 brings us!

Thank you, everyone, for all of your prayers and support! It has meant so much to both of us. Remember to make each day count and not just the special ones.

God Bless,

Love,

Monica

May the force be with you.....

I just signed out for the last time with Eric and our regular morning chat sessions. HTIME (happy tears in my eyes).  I feel very fortunate to have been able to IM with him almost every morning my time..his evening.  From this point on, I won't know for sure when he will have computer access which is the way it is for many of our soldiers daily.  I have been incredibly blessed with having that luxury.  And on days when I didn't hear from him my anxiety level always rose wondering if he was still okay.  But I have learned to use prayer and humor to keep myself in check.  And, so, I thought you would all enjoy this last picture that came through today. 

Right after Eric left last fall, we sent him a light saber for "protection".  We are, after all, a Star Wars family and we knew his mission wouldn't be complete without it.  I am happy to see that it is still helping him and has made the customs inspection. 

I love you SSG Pugh and can't wait to see you face to face!

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Prayer requests:
1) Remember that despite the fun pictures there is no safe place in that very dangerous country. Please continue to pray for all of our troops daily.
2) Please pray for Missy and Cecil Hoskins who married on their leave last month but haven't seen each other or possibly spoken to each other since they returned to finish their tours.  Pray they both stay safe and have a hedge of protection around them.  Missy graduated with Brady. 
3) Pray for our troops who are starting their processes to come home..timely flights and not too much hurry up and wait.
4) Pray for the next five-ish weeks and nine-ish weeks to pass quickly!

Let the summer begin!

Tree frogs can make a momma blood-curdle scream if they jump on her arm and subsequently make her "pond" overflow!  I was putting in the last of the annuals this morning by the fence when all of a sudden a slimy something landed on my arm and out of my mouth came the loudest scream.  Fortunately, the moment wasn't lost on just me because Logan was on the other side of the fence mowing..yes, mowing (I scream loud).  He stopped the mower and came running to my aid...(interpretation: he is tall and peaked over the fence).  But tree frogs are cute so I quickly caught it and showed him what was causing his mother so much distress.  It's not the frog..it's the jumping.  We have been possibly listening to this frog for the last couple of nights as he has enjoyed a late night dip in our actual pond.  So it was kind of fun to see what had been making all that peaceful racket.  Ayden snapped a quick picture and we put him back on the rocks below the deck. 

Speaking of my pond...it is running.  I mentioned this to a co-worker last week.  I said, "Our pond is running".  I was thinking she had enjoyed some time on my deck.  Apparently she had not.  Because she said, "What does that mean? Are you peeing your pants?".  I burst into laughter which at times can be dangerous for me and make my "pond" overflow!  We do have a wonderful water feature that Brady installed last spring and we are enjoying it very much (even though I think it has a leak :( ).  The frogs are enjoying it too and so are the birds.  We just need to go fishing and catch some small sunnies.  We are so looking forward to hanging out on the deck enjoying the summer sounds when Eric and Brady return.  We are ready!

Eric...you've been asking for some pictures.....

Silly tree frog....  I think I squeezed him so hard his "pond" overflowed...

One of your surprises... a new columbine...isn't it beautiful?!

The Bleeding Heart bush looks awesome this year...

Baby robins on my 2nd story closet window ledge...momma doesn't like me watching at all

And at last..the pond...including the baby mouse ears hosta at the bottom right....

God Bless,

Love,

Monica

Prayer Requests:

1) Please pray for physical stamina for Eric as he finishes up and for all of the soldiers in his unit.  They are worn and tired and excited to come home.

2) Praise for God's creations...they have given me great purpose this spring and helped to keep my mind occupied.  I have enjoyed them because Eric and Brady enjoy them so much.  Brady worked so hard on our yard last spring.  It is so much appreciated, son. 

3) Continue to pray for safety for them and for all of our soldiers who will continue on and those who will take over.

4) Praise for my health and my doctors who have gotten me to this point.  Last year at this time I would not have been able to do all of the yard work that I have done this spring.  I am so thankful that during this stressful year my health has improved immeasurably.

Back to the past Monica style

I woke early from a dream this morning....way too early.  And I was so possessed with words for my blog that I turned on my light to write (my laptop sleeps in Eric's space in the bed for easy access).  I dreamed I had gone back to college complete with two very young 18-year-old roommates and a loft bed.  I was welcomed with open arms and even announced to them, "Let's get this straight..I'm 46..and I'm going to get my second degree and I hope we have a lot of fun together".  To which the one girl said, "Oh, we knew you were older but not that old".  And I was wearing a very short pair of shorts and had my 20-year-old legs...which is the only part of the dream I enjoyed.  And in my now half-awakened state, I can tell you where this random dream came from.  There are a lot of college kids returning home for the summer, I would love to get another degree, and I've been watching an old show on Netflix called thirtysomething.  Remember that show?  It was a show about baby boomers in their late thirties and premiered in the fall of 1987.

Netflix is the best $10 I spend a month for entertainment in the absence of my husband.  I haven't seen this show since it ended.  I never missed an episode from start to finish..remember those were the days just slightly pre-VCR and we didn't record anything let alone DVR anything.  I was pleasantly surprised to see it on instant play and have spent the last couple of weeks watching an episode to help me drift off (sometimes Michael's skepticism and Hope's whining does get to me..funny how I don't remember that when I originally watched it).

The fall of 1987....interestingly enough I had  6-month old baby Brady and Hope had baby Janie even though I was 22 and she was well, thirtysomething.  Eric had just been informed he was to report for AIT and within days he shipped to Georgia and missed his best friend, Bret's wedding.  So it is no wonder  I have found comfort watching it again now all these years later because it was something that kept me company while he was gone those four months...and I was in college, too.  See where this is all coming together now?

I was really surprised as episode one started..the theme song took me right back to the late 80's.  And then the clothes hit me..we were really dowdy back then.  And I don't remember men wearing man jewelry but apparently it was the "in" thing because Elliot sports multiple pieces.  And most of their phones still had cords and dials..oh, yeah! there weren't cordless phones just yet.  And then all of a sudden I see Ellen in an outfit and I think, "Well, that's kind of cute".  What!!  But then again I recently spied a jacket in a fashion catalog that was a cross between Members Only and an Eddie Murphy jacket I vaguely remember.  Scrunchies, clippies, really high-waisted jeans and baggy clothes for women, and jackets that seem too small for men immediately took me back to that time-frame.  And I found myself able to examine myself and what I knew. 

By the time the show ended in May of 1991, I had graduated college, Hope and I had our second babies together, the Gulf War had started and ended with us escaping deployment, and I was due with our third son, Logan.  Eric and I had been married for five years and I had adjusted well to being military wife one weekend a month and two weeks during the summer and communication to soldiers overseas was still basically limited to hand-written letters. That's all I considered us....part-time military. I remember spending many nights praying back then and hoping Eric wouldn't be sent overseas.  I still to this day don't know how these young military wives handle deployment with small children and they all remain in my constant prayers.

Logan turns 20 in July.  Everything has changed so much in 20 years which is easily evidenced as I make my way through another episode (I am currently in season two).  Thankfully, the era of acid-washed jeans and really bad sweaters, men's and women's, has passed.  And thankfully I recognize now that we are full-time military all day every day and always have been.  Maybe I've just always known that but now I truly accept it in my heart.

And in my heart I am officially counting down...it won't be long now and these 400 day tours will be over for all of us.

God Bless,
love,
Monica

How many passes does it take to get your mower dirty?

Today was a historical day with Prince William and Princess Kate's wedding.  Don't be fooled or distracted by all of their hoopla (which I enjoyed thoroughly because it was happy news).  I have made copious amounts of historical data myself in the last two days with the purchase and assemblage of a brand new push mower for the Pugh family!  Yes, you heard it here first.  I researched and purchased a mower yesterday and today I assembled it (not that tough), started it successfully (did call my neighbor, Myron, up for support), and mowed my back yard. 

But I did have to chuckle at myself a few times.  After I assembled it in the living room (remember this is my first time and I wasn't sure where to do these things at plus, I was watching the wedding), I took it to the front porch to stand back and admire it.  It is bright red and nice and shiny clean.  If you think back to my spring gardening post you will remember that I really don't like dirty.  And I had a thought of wondering how long I could keep the mower clean.  The mower came complete with oil.  So I followed the instructions to fill it but felt slightly stressed when I dripped some on the shiny red deck.  And I chuckled a little.  I've never, ever felt ownership of a mower before.  And then I thought, "Well, I have a new mower so I need a new gas can". And I was off on the errand. On return, we (cause Logan came out and Myron had arrived) filled the gas tank and started it up.  And that was that.  And then I was off to mow the back yard and with one pass my brand new mower was dirty.  So, Eric, you can come home and take care of the mower..I won't try and keep it too clean or get irritated if you get it dirty.  In fact, I really don't want any ownership in it.  But I did purchase one that has a deck clean feature..you just hook up a hose and turn it on if you want.

So maybe now you have all decided that the world really must be coming to an end if Monica assembled a mower.  Well, don't let the mower convince you.  It has been reported to me by my mother that she had a margarita last weekend with her Mexican dinner! The world must be ending. (sorry, mom, don't tell on yourself to a daughter who blogs)  So It has been a history making week for many including my mom. And I was very thankful for the enchanting royal story to entertain me.  I would much rather be enjoying the girly-girl things like a royal wedding or drinks with some girlfriends than assembling a mower in the future. But I will never forget where I was or what I was doing the day that William and Kate tied the knot.  Cheers! (now if my prince would just hurry home.....)

Gotta love a soldier who would wear his wife's heart signature on his helmet.....

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Choices

The last few weeks have been very difficult emotionally and mentally with the news of three fallen Iowa soldiers and many more injured.  It was with a very heavy heart that I pulled our flag to half-mast yet again this morning.  This last soldier, James Justice, was a part of the 1-113th CAV which is Brady's troop.  And while I know their hearts are all heavy I also know that they will carry on in his honor in true cavalry spirit. 

While adjusting my flag, I was reminded that my life is full of choices.  The choice to be patriotic, informed, kind, honest, spiritual, happy, political, neighborly, genuine, in love...these are all mine to choose and I am so thankful for the freedom to do so.  They all aren't just feelings I have they require action from me.  I will admit  Eric has always taken care of our flags in every house we have lived.  The very first thing he did when we moved into this house was to hang his flag and spotlight it.  We were fortunate to move into a house with a pole in the ground, albeit on the wrong side of the sidewalk.  But I think I have always considered it his flag up until this last month.  I have changed the bulb in his light twice since he left and the whole time I was changing it I was thinking about how thankful I was to be taking care of his flag.  Except this morning I thought to myself...I am really thankful Eric made it so easy for me to raise and lower our flag so that I could honor these fallen heroes by lowering it..not just taking it down.  I thanked him during our chat time and I know he was thankful (but somewhat surprised) that I was making sure our flag was being flown appropriately.

I grew up next to my dad's parents; my paternal grandparents.  And I watched my grandfather put up and take down his flag every day.  I never thought much about it when I was a kid.  It was what he did and I took it for granted.  But I realize now he was making a choice to be patriotic on a daily basis. 

I often have people comment on how they don't know how I do it or that I am very strong to handle deployment.  Well, I can tell you that I am not always strong but I do it because I have the choice to do so.  I could get up every morning and whine and complain or I can dig my heels in and make the choice to do it.  I choose to do it because my family members chose to serve...not just my husband and son but my father, as well.  

Today all of our military personnel choose to serve so that we enjoy our freedoms... to celebrate Easter, to have a party, to ride in RAGBRAI, to spend the day hanging at the mall or with friends, to grill out, to garden, to sit on the couch and read a book.....anything.   SSG James Justice was one of those soldiers who chose to go on his fourth mission and serve his country so that I could choose to hang our flag everyday.  Please remember to keep our fallen soldiers families in your prayers as they go through these difficult times.

May God continue to protect our freedom for choices.

http://www.usa-flag-site.org/etiquette.shtml

God Bless,
Love,
Monica

Spring is springing

I am sitting here today, finally inspired to write after quite a dry spell, with tears and an anxious heart but also feeling the excitement of the season.

We are seeing signs of spring all around us which means the last season is upon us before my first soldier returns home.  The crocuses are no longer blooming while the golden forsythia and the magnolia trees are in full bloom.  And I'm anxiously waiting for the red buds to burst open with their beautiful color and the crab apples to lend their various shades to this time of year.  I wouldn't know these things or probably be as passionate about them except that my husband taught me to be that way. I am so happy this last season has arrived and I am so sad he is not here to share it with me.  Brady shares equally in his dad's passion and I will miss his hard labor in the yard this spring, too.

One of Eric's and my favorite spring activities is visiting all the garden centers and picking out our annuals and choosing a few new perennials to add to our collection.  I am very thankful for Melody who shares the same passion and enjoys this activity, as well.  Melody and I (in lieu of any good garage sales to attend) made our first trek to Groth's Gardens last Saturday to check things out.  And while there, I was faced with the realization that if I am to have annuals this year I will have to actually get dirty!  I love picking the plants and the wonderful colors.  Eric loves mixing the soil and digging them in...I will miss him and Brady playing in the dirt this spring.  But I will buy gloves so when they return the yard will sport some beautiful colors.

While we are here enjoying the emergence of warmer days and all the things higher temps bring, our soldiers (from what I understand) are experiencing increased enemy activity with warmer temps.  I know this brings anxiety with the anticipation of gearing down as many of our soldiers are preparing to return home. And yet they all need to stay as alert and aware as ever because their journey is not over.

We have evidence this week of this activity with the loss of two Iowa soldiers. As time has passed and tour ends draw closer, it has been easier to feel slightly more relaxed at times for me.  I have had people comment on how close their homecomings are and we all breathe a sigh of relief together.  But all of our soldiers still need our prayers.  We need to persevere and stand aware until they all return home. 

So while you work in the yard or enjoy a spring soccer game, remember all of our soldiers as they anxiously anticipate the end of their tours.  And say an extra prayer for the families who have lost their soldiers this week.

God Bless,
love,
Monica